Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Urban Decay's Revolution lipstick

Urban Decay recently debuted some new lipsticks, and I was intrigued enough to stray from my usual MAC.  I have bought three so far.  I've found the texture to be wonderful - creamy and easy to apply.
The packaging is very attractive.  The price is a bit steep for the amount that you get.  It's 23.00 for a slim tube.  For that reason I'll probably not be buying all of them.  I did some swatching on my hand as well as my lips. ( No criticism for the slightly messy lip application, please.  I wasn't going out, just trying them out.)  Have you tried any?  If so, which color is your favorite?

Anarchy, Jilted and Venom

My favorite is Venom, a beautiful pinkish violet

From left to right: Venom, Jilted and Anarchy
applying Jilted

Jilted on bottom, my pale natural lip color on top!

Applying Anarchy

Anarchy on top, Jilted on bottom

Okay, my skin looks horrible in these shots! I think my new camera is a little TOO sharp.

Friday, September 20, 2013

My babies

I'm trying to drag myself out of the inertia that grief seems to have draped over me, but I haven't managed yet.  Reading magazines and browsing fashion week photos and Facebook are about as ambitious as I've gotten since my Dad died.  I did go out to take some pictures of the sun rise this morning.  Then as I looked at it, I wondered if my Dad could see it from heaven or wherever he is.  This of course made me cry.  That seems to be the way things go.  A little reminder, and here come the tears.
My salvation is buying new shoes or make-up, and my cats.  My sweet babies who let me hold them while my tears drip onto their fur.  Their purrs that make me feel soothed and calm.  If you have a pet, you know what it's like.  Not only are they entertaining, but they're often the only source of unconditional love that people have.
I've been blessed to find three baby kitties and all three have become lifelong companions.  I lost one of them last October, after 18 years together.  Her death was similar to my Dad's - I knew it was coming, but didn't expect it to happen when it did.  At least with her death I was able to hold her and talk to her before the vet put her to sleep.  I saw her looking at me, so I knew she understood that I was with her (although she was heavily sedated due to the continuous seizures that she'd been having).  Getting to say goodbye is really a good thing, a bigger thing than I realized.  I didn't get to say goodbye to my Dad, and that is one of my regrets.
Anyhow, until I can get more beauty and fashion topics posted, I thought I'd post pictures of my cats, the next best thing.
First is my oldest girl, Scully.  She turned 16 this spring.  She has a heart murmur, and her kidneys are starting to fail.  Kidney failure is one of the main causes of death for older cats.  You really have to know your cat's habits well in order to notice the symptoms of kidney failure.   If you catch it early, like I did with both Buddy and Scully, you can alter their diet and still have them live for several years.  Buddy lived for 4 more years after she was diagnosed, so I'm hoping Scully will be the same.
She's a tiny little calico/tortieshell.  I found her when she ran into the middle of a busy street in Atlanta. I was so worried that she'd get run over that I pulled into the turn lane and left my car running while I slowly walked over to her and scooped her up.  She was just as big as my hand, and weighed 1 lb. and 3 oz.  Although Buddy hated her at first (Buddy was 3 years old and didn't want to share me), they eventually got used to each other and were lifelong companions.  Scully missed Buddy very much after she died, and kept looking for her up to 6 months afterwards.  Scully is now my best buddy - she's always beside me.

This next picture is of my boy Max.  He turned 3 this summer, but he's still my baby because a) he's the youngest, and b) he's a little cat.  He loves to go outside and look around, chase bugs, and mice. When he's inside he's normally sleeping.  He loves to have his belly rubbed, too.  (My girls would bite me if I tried to rub their bellies.)  He's super-affectionate and cute as can be.

My youngest, Max.  I found him in a field beside the road 3 years ago.
My little man sleeping in one of his favorite spots
Max coming to see what I'm doing
This third cat isn't technically mine.  My Mom and I share him.  I moved from California back to my hometown a few years ago, and set up camp temporarily at my Mom's.  I saw this cat occasionally sneaking into my Mom's garage eating her cat's food.  Then one day when I called my cat, this boy answered.  He was an adult but he was thin.  He obviously didn't have a home anymore, so we took him in.  His name is Boy Kitty (see explanation below).
 We only had girls when he found us, so we kept referring to him as "the boy kitty".  It stuck.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

My father passed away this week

I've taken a short break from posting due to this, as I was out of town for most of last week.  Now I'm home and trying to come to grips with the fact that he's gone.  Last year at this time he was fine.  He lives in another state, but he came home this time last year for a class reunion.  Little did I know that would be the last time that I would see my father when he was conscious.  An example of how you never know what might happen to someone, so make sure you say what's in your heart.

Last winter my Dad found out he had invasive, aggressive bladder cancer.  After consulting with several doctors, he decided to have surgery to remove his bladder.  He was to go back for a check-up at the beginning of July.  I had planned to go visit him over the summer, but he thought it would be better if I waited until the holidays.

When he went back for his check-up, however, they discovered the cancer had spread throughout his body.  Once again he met with several doctors.  They told him that if he did nothing he would probably only have until Christmas, and that he would be in a lot of pain.  They wanted to do radiation and told him that they "thought they could kill it".  He started radiation at the end of July.  Unfortunately, instead of helping him it seemed to make him too weak and tired to keep fighting.  We all thought that once he finished with radiation and had a few weeks to recuperate that he'd be stronger.  I talked to him the last day of his treatment, and that turned out to be the last conversation we'd have.  He became ill with an infection and was admitted to the hospital for just a few days.  I called him the day after he came home, but every time I called he was sleeping.  That evening my stepmom had to call an ambulance because he was having trouble breathing.  He was admitted to ICU, sedated and put on a ventilator.  My sister and I flew down, hoping that we could talk to him at some point.  A day after we got there they stopped the sedation, thinking that when he came to they could ask him some questions.  My Dad never regained consciousness, though.  We knew that his kidneys were failing and that he had fluid in his lungs.  His heart wasn't strong, I think his pacemaker was the only thing keeping it going. He had already told my stepmother that he didn't want any more cancer treatments, surgery, or medical "procedures" like stents. He was taken off of the machines and the IVs were taken out, and he died the following morning.

My Dad had just turned 81, but he was far from an old man.  Before his diagnosis last winter, he was active.  He cut his grass, he liked to do projects in the house, he could fix their cars.  His mother just died a few years ago, just shy of 97.  I wish that I had been able to say goodbye to him.  I wish that I had visited him sooner.  So many things I wish.  

That's why I published this post.  I know the people who read my blog don't know him.  But there are plenty of people like me who think there's more time to do things.  But if it's important, especially if it involves a loved one, don't put it off.  Don't be too busy, don't lose track of time, don't assume you can do it later, and don't assume someone will be there whenever you get to it.  Think of what you'll feel like if there's not more time, or if they're not there when you're ready.  Do the things that are most important, go out of your way to spend time with people you love.  You probably won't regret doing that.